My life

My life is filled with ups and downs on a daily basis. There are days that my life feels like a complete mess and I feel like I have completely failed as a mom, a wife. But this is not true I have not failed yes I have messed up at times and I have fallen down we all do but the truth is I maybe a mess but I am right where God wants me. In His eyes I am a masterpiece and he shapes me more and more each day.
I have struggled if I should even write this blog but have decided to jump on a leap of Faith and just go all in. I have four Amazing children and the most wonderful husband ever who has allowed me to be home to raise our children. We have had many ups and downs financially, emotionally but through all of that we have learned to lean on each other and on God. See without God we could not get through all we have been through. Faith has made me get out of bed each day even when I didn't want to face the day. God said "get up and I will help you"
Our first test came when we had our second child a beautiful daughter whom we named Miranda Mae. We were over the moon excited when she came into our lives because we now had a son and a daughter. We couldn't imagine anything better.
But something was off from the get go and you can say a mom's intuition whatever you want to call it. Something was telling me that this new road we were starting with our daughter was not going to be easy even though the nurses and everyone around us was saying do not worry. I was not satisfied and I knew in my heart that it was not right. Our daughter was thowing up from the minute she was born. She cried all the time. Being a new mom of two with a toddler and a new baby is alot in itself but being a mom with a baby who screamed all the time was overwhelming.
She was diagnosed with Acid Reflux Disease. Dr said by the time she is 6 months this will all be over. But he was wrong she was s tut ill going strong and I was exhausted. See she never slept I would spend countless hours awake with her and she would cry and throw up every time I fed her. When I say throw up I mean projectile across the room. I took so many showers and gave her so many baths you would think we would be prunes!☺
I began to question my Faith. Was God punishing me for something. What did I do to deserve this? Why her? Why me? How can this be happening? How are we going to get through this ? But then I began to pray. I prayed and prayed and I soon realized God was not punishing us but he was guiding us as he knew there would be bigger storms for us to face in the future. Our Miranda is now 12 and still suffers from Acid Reflux Disease but she taught us o be strong and o lean on Faith and to hold on tight to Hope. She has been through many battles and life so far has not always dealt her a fair hand she just gets up and keeps on moving forward. She not only suffers from Acid Reflux Disease but has Asthma and severe constipation issues most likely both caused by the severe reflux.
She is beautiful on the inside and outside and she is a miracle and taught me to be strong!